We are in the season of Christmas & New Years parties, which fills me with dread. Don't get me wrong, I love a good party, I love dressing up, hanging with friends, eating, drinking, music - all of it. But this year, I'm having to embrace a different body. A body, that has grown a little human and been stretched, with the marks to show.
I received a beautiful dress from Shop Tobi which on the hanger, looked STUNNING. Beautiful lace, beautiful shape, stunning colour, and with visions of me looking like the girls you see on instagram, I eagerly put it on, awaiting to see a new level of beauty in the mirror when I stared back at myself. Instead, the boobs that once just sat there without a bra now just drooped and sat under my armpits, the belly I used to be able to suck in, didn't suck in any further, the arms, which I've never really liked, looked bigger than ever, and the post pregnancy side burns just stuck out like never before.
Now, let me tell you, the dress is stunning and I reckon if I was strict with my diet and exercise I would wear it to any and every event, but instead, it's taught me a few lessons.
My view of myself is what is a miss here. One, deep down I knew I would never l look like the Instagram models. Two, I knew I should have found a bra to wear, put those suck-in pants on and actually done my hair before I looked at myself.
This got me thinking that I can't be the only Mama who is finding it hard to love their post pregnancy body; that is finding it tough to lose the weight and that is embarrassed to wear anything that might show off a lump or bump. So I thought I might share how I'm going to work on combatting feeling like this, whilst showing you photos of me in said dress.
Give yourself a break
My body spent 9 months making a baby. If you think about it, that's incredible, and a lot of hard work internally and physically. Whether you gave birth a few weeks ago or over a year ago. Give yourself a break, you gave birth - you made a human!
Eugh. Food is my weakness and I'm not even a foodie. I just like to eat. Cheese and chocolate are my weaknesses, and a Coca Cola. I know that if I change my approach to food I'll find the healthier eating thing a bit easier. That as well as being organised, I find my days revolve around Judah Wild (obviously). I generally pick at stuff all day that isn't healthy, I'm not tracking what I eat. 3 meals a day is what's needed but for that I need to be organised.
Be grateful for your family
Look at your little one. Your heart explodes, you made that, you're teaching him/her, you are perfect and that all your little one needs. Take time to watch, to warm your heart, to fall more in love with your perfect family.
Following my previous blog, comparison is the thief of joy. Don't do it. Everyones body is different, yours is perfect. Accept who you are, if you're not - put things in place to enact change.
Allow yourself a few pick me ups
Whilst caring for your little one is important, caring for yourself is just as important. Schedule in time for yourself, whether that's an hour or 30mins. Leave the little one with your partner, friends or family. You might find your body issues may fade when you don't focus on them. Hit the shops and buy a flattering item, get your nails done, have a bubble bath or go for lunch with a friend.
Reality is, it's not going to be easy, and we will forget to do any of these most of the time, but for at least a moment, read this, let it soak in and start to love that new body of yours.
Sidenote: As tough as this lesson was, the dress is really stunning. With the right undies to hold me in place, it is very flattering, and once I get over my insecurities, I'll wear it with pride. It's now my "goal" dress - the one I will wear when I have the figure I want, because we all need a beautiful dress as a goal.
Love Jess x